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The Expulsive Power of New Affection

How do you change? 

It's a difficult question. Anyone who's attempted to drive past a Krispy Kreme (which shall be forever praised) while on a diet when the "Hot Light Now" sign broadcasts the sacred advent of its satiny rings of hoary temptation knows in a moment the fundamental powers that resist change. This is, if you will, the issue writ fried. And as an important caveat, it is something approaching a creedal belief of mine that said sign's amber glow is surely a reflection of the lights of heaven.

The question: Can this sort of temptation--at whatever level--be overcome? Not just how do you change, but can you change? 

The obvious answer seems to be that we have to dump out the junk. The dirt. The hurt. The desires. The addiction. The hate. The bitterness. The donuts. We somehow think we are like a cup that's easily turned over and the contents easily dumped out. If we just get a handle on the cup, problem solved, right?

However, try just once to actually do that and all manner of strange forces materialize. Something immediately moves back in. Nature abhors a vacuum, and even if we do succeed in dumping the junk of our hearts out, something immediately takes it's place. Our hearts aren't cups that can be turned over and dumped out, said Jonathan Edwards. What's currently in our hearts is only replaced by something else displacing it. There is a transfer that always takes place. 

Augustine of Hippo said it this way: We are what we love. If you want to really know me, don't find out what I know or where I've been or what I've done, find out what I love. Our problem then is not that we love and desire, it's what we love and desire. 

Augustine's remedy for lasting change is straightforward: change what you love. For example, it's entirely possible to love the feeling that comes from bitterness. In a Hollywood-worthy Anger Fantasy involving that kid from 7th grade, you finally triumph. You say just the right thing. Or punch him in the nose. Sweet victory…and a sweet feeling sweeps over you. How would you change this? Augustine wouldn't say stop loving the anger, he'd say to love something else more until it overwhelms your torrid affair with anger, resentment and rage. 

This is simply good psychology. You won't replace a bad habit by focusing on it and conquering it by willpower. If you do, you'll only make the habit stronger. Rather, you replace it by focusing on and doing a good habit. You displace the bad habit with a new one.  

So when Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God with my entire being (Mark 12, Matthew 22, Luke 10), he is saying something (if we'll accept it) incredibly wise. Love God. Make that the focus of your life. Turn toward it and in the interchange of your love with God's, everything else is displaced. Jesus even takes that a step further. Rather than commanding us to love him, he loves us first. Empties himself out for us, in fact. Sacrificially lays his life down--like the bravest fireman running into the towering inferno of your life. Ergo, the cross.

We love because we've been loved. The love of God displaces our fears and the our love for God displaces our idols. Change starts with love, not effort. 

On doing something new but forgetting to actually change

I've been around the church my entire life. 

Several times at different points on my journey I've thought of leaving, for any number of reasons:
>I couldn't stand the hypocrisy (in others or myself).
>I didn't like how things were done.
>I thought we were missing the mark in what "the Church" was supposed to be.
>I didn't think I had what it took to be a Christian.
>I intellectually couldn't get in gear with how the Gospel was presented.
>The Gospel was lost in the trappings of religion.
>Too much focus on the outside, not enough on the inside.
>Soul-crushing legalism and the small minded people it created.
>Church politics
You get the point. Lots of stuff rumbled through my heart.

Ironically, the majority of my generation (aka, "The Busters", "Generation X" etc.) with whom I grew up in Church are no longer part of the Church. From my vaguely rough estimation, it seems the primary reason(s) were because
>the Church majored on minors. Being holy meant giving inordinate attention to hand-picked social mores.
>Church "felt" condemning/guilting (and often was). I routinely hear "I just felt guilty all the time, like I could never measure up."
>The Church didn't/couldn't/didn't know how to answer real heart questions.

Simply put, there was no actual discipleship (in spite of that word being thrown around a lot).  Despite saying we were being taught how to follow Jesus, no clear definable steps or paths were opened that made it possible for Jesus' life to be replicated in my life. Any actual spiritual 'fruit' was pure gift from the Holy Spirit. I know that might seem like over-generalization and possibly an unfair representation of the multiple people who invested in me, but it's a story I've heard repeated many times.

I've now lived long enough (just makes me feel old typing that) to see multiple shifts happen, and I'm starting to see a pattern in church leadership.
Generation #1 does something they feel captures (accurately and relevantly) the heart of the Gospel.
Generation #2 grows up under Generation #1's tutelage, chafes, and either leaves or sets out to "do it right" with much eye rolling, contempt, cynicism and arrogance.
Generation #3 grows up in the shadow of Generation #1 and in the tutelage of Generation #2 and ironically repeats the pattern (clueless of their ignorance).

For the sake of making a point, let me focus on change that happens all the time: we change the language. 

Here's what we Generation #2ers think. "The words used (by Generation #1 types) to describe my experience were/are inaccurate, irrelevant and full of cobwebs. They don't do justice to the grand narratives of my heart or the grand narratives of God's story. It's too (insert choice) churchy/cheesy/insider coded/outsider unfriendly/theologically inaccurate/missiologically misguided/unlike something I came up with/unlike the guy I read that I agree with came up with."

Now, there is a point. Language isn't a coin you can spend in any generation with the same value. It changes with time and so the Gospel has to be re-articulated in the vernacular of each generation. Language certainly matters.

Let's take the phrase, "get saved" as an example. In a culture where you knew the Bible was the moral authority, knew the sinners from the saints, and knew where you stood on the moral continuum, that phrase likely had potency. You were "lost" and needed to "get saved."

But when you are in a culture where moral authority is rooted in personal interpretation, sinners and saints are archaic designations of a bourgeois and oppressive moralism, and you define your own moral continuum, "get saved" sounds like strong arm tactics or language from Mars. It no longer 'works'. So, Generation #2 changes the language.
Necessary. Good. More people follow Jesus (which is the point).

But here's where we miss the point. We change the language thinking that unchurched/dechurched/nonchurched/hatechurch people have the same problem we do with language.
As in, the reason they didn't show up to our service/program/thing is because we were saying it wrong.  

We tell ourselves, "now, in our wisdom, we have corrected your problem unchurched/dechurched/nonchurched/hatechurch person. You may now flood us with your presence." We did something new, but nothing actually changed. We said it differently, but to appease ourselves, not actually connect with them.
An aside: 

Hey fellow Generation #2ers: could we consider that postmodernism has so flooded our collective souls as a society that people once again feel "lost" and hear "getting saved" as good news? And since they don't have our church baggage, it doesn't mean for them what it means for us? Not my main point, but worth stopping and considering. 

Case in point: one church led by a well-known missional practitioner (a fellow Gen-Xer) doing some killer things to connect with people describes themselves thusly:
(Blank Church is) a congregational network of incarnational communities that are apprenticing kingdom people.


Now I know their heart is to reach people disenfranchised by religion, and I actually love what they are attempting to say, but I don't get it. If I have no background in Church, I have no idea what those words mean. They are as much church-ese as anything Generation #1 ever printed on one of those bad stock-bulletins featuring random Country Church framed against mountains you'll spend the entire church service wishing you could visit.

However, they ARE words that immediately connect with a theologically informed, disgruntled, churched person (e.g., me) who thinks Generation #1 got it all wrong. Without meaning to throw stones, I'm simply asking this as a diagnostic question about the current direction of evangelicalism as led by Generation #2ers and now #3ers: they did something new, but did anything actually change? 

The better life Jesus brings

When the gospel gets into you, things come out of you. Good things. Great things even. But there's an order to it. It's grace in, results out. If we confuse this order of things, we end up attempting to "be better" and "live like Jesus" in order to prove the validity of our lives by how we perform. That's deadly. 

In contrast, the Gospel brings us to fully rely on Jesus for lasting hope, humbles us so that we can admit our weaknesses and be open to growth, and changes our perspective and attitude so that we can do things differently. But, and this is crucial, it is God's work in us to do that. What comes out is the fruit of what God is putting in by his grace and kindness.

Here's a list from Romans 12 I jotted down some time ago of things that I'm realizing come out of a grace-filled life:

• We refuse to be a conformist. (verse 2)
• We stop thinking we are better than other people. (verse 3)
• We hate whatever is evil. (v9)
• We work to outdo each other out of love, not competition. (v10)
• We let mutual affection grow so that we love deeply. (v10)
• We are open to people being in our life that we didn't expect or with whom we wouldn't normally hang out. (v13)
• We respond to the inevitable curses and blows we get in relationships with blessings (because we've decided--with Jesus as our example--in advance that's what we'll do). (v14)
• We are happy for someone when good things happen to them. (v15)
• We cry with someone when they are crying. (v16)
• We live in harmony with other people (note: harmony means we sing a different part, not the same part!) (v16)
• We aren't proud or arrogant. (v16)
• When someone does us wrong, we do something noble back. Again, we've decided in advance to live like this. (v17)
• We do our best to live at peace with people who are hard to live with. (v18)
• We don't spend our time trying to avenge ourselves when thing go wrong. (v19)
• We feed our enemies instead of feeding our hatred of them. (v20)
• We don't let give in to being overwhelmed by pain, perceived slights, real slights, slander or gossip--instead, we overcome that with good. (v21)

Let's Talk About Sex (some more)

Here’s a principle that holds true 98% of the time: What you think your future will be like determines how you act in the present.

Looking at it positively

You think nice guys wins, so you are kind to the people around you.

You think that God will make everything right in the end, so you are able to let go of making people pay for their mistakes.

Looking at it negatively

You think everyone always takes advantage of everyone else (and always will), so you beat them at their own game and take advantage of them first.

People won’t change unless you remind them of their failures, so you never let up on the people in your life about the mistakes they’ve made.

The principle applies to marriage and relationships too. If your marriage is primarily about you and your happiness, your odds of abandoning it when you are no longer happy go way up (and that day will come). Consider that the rise of no-fault divorce in our country is a natural outgrowth of the idea that marriage is for personal happiness. But if you think your marriage is about something larger than you, you stay in it and work on it precisely because its not about you.

Here’s a quick recap of last week’s message on marriage and sex: The Kisses of Your Mouth. You can listen here.

We talked about how marriage is for the purpose of sanctification

God is more interested in you being holy than happy (and surprisingly, happiness comes as a byproduct). Marriage is an incredible tool for sanctification. Sanctification, by the way, is a word that literally means "to make holy."

We did a bit of Marriage counseling

Song of Solomon chapter 2 talks in metaphorical language about the little foxes will destroy the vineyard of your marriage:

• Like not agreeing on what you are building together
• Like not agreeing on how you’ll organize your home (your way isn’t the RIGHT way. You need the way you’ll do it together)
• Like not sharing your schedules or having an agreed on budget
• Like having destructive attitudes (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling)
• Like not working through past pain so that it really is in your past

We talked about some practical advice (from Song of Solomon chapter 1) for making love come alive in your marriage

• Like brushing your teeth & showering (the fundamentals never go out of style)
• Like making your spouse your standard of beauty (ignore the magazines in the check-out line. Industry secret: every model is air-brushed to look flawless)
• Like being a good steward of your body and making an effort to be attractive to your spouse (hint:let them dress you--and give-away the things they hate)
• Kiss each other. It's fun and burns 2 calories (and can lead to more if you do it right). Three cheers for calorie burning exercise!
• Husbands: tell her she’s beautiful. She’s verbal.
• Wives: let him see the beauty he appreciates--all of it. He’s visual.

This weekend

We’ll be going into the heart of the brokenness of our culture with regard to sexuality: pornography and addiction. We aren’t going to shame, badger or beat anyone up. Grace is the way we do everything.

We're talking about it because porn addiction is epidemic in our culture. And contrary to the way it's talked about in public, it’s not the casual, funny, normal thing it's made to seem. Experts agree: it's destructive. One stat: a recent survey of lawyers found that 58% of divorces were due to one spouse spending excessive amounts of time with porn. We want anyone stuck in it to be free. So we’ll be offering hope and a way out. Grace always helps.

A caution: we’ll be talking honestly about it, so please think through having young children present. We won’t be vulgar, but we won’t mince words either. We’ve given the message a strong rating of MA-14. Consider this, the largest user of online porn is boys ages 12-17, so having boys there that age is actually very fitting.

If you think porn isn't that big of deal and we shouldn't be making an issue of it, read this article. Be forewarned, it’s on a Christian website, but it pulls no punches.

Let's Talk About Sex

There is a reason sex sells.

· It’s exciting because it raises our temperature (literally) and feels good to just think about (“feel-good” chemicals are released into our bloodstream when we think about it).

· It’s intriguing, to say the least, to think about another person’s body.

· It’s enjoyable (again, the whole feel good theme—this time physically)

· It’s bonding. It touches our deepest human need to be needed and wanted. To think that someone actually wants us is the stuff of wonderment.

Put those four things together in any way and people will always respond. Always.

In the Bible, sexual expression in marriage is a gift meant to contain the excitement, intrigue, pleasure and bonding sex is meant to bring. Marriage is meant (though sometimes falls short) to stoke the fires, not put them out. Sex in marriage is meant to be a roaring fire that lights up and heats the whole room.

In the redemptive framework of the Bible, outside that covenant, the fire always ends up burning rather than giving warmth and light. And it only takes a little observation to see that our culture is littered with burned people.

Burned by men.

Burned by women.

Burned by abuse (sometimes from a spouse).

Burned by cheating.

Burned by jealousy.

Burned by affairs.

Burned by rejection.

Burned by pornography and addiction.

Burned by differing levels of desire.

Burned by baggage of past relationships.

Burned by mistrust.

The scars are everywhere.

For that reason, we are talking about God, Love and Sex as we look at the Song of Solomon in the month of May. We want to show how good sex is and how to think about it and act on it like a follower of Jesus does.

I’ll be recapping what we talk about each week and giving you a heads up about the week to come, so feel free to check back here each week (we’ll also post the link through Facebook and Twitter and you can listen to the podcast as well.

Recap (you can listen here)

We’re doing this series because the Bible teaches about sex and our culture is confused about sex. So we want to bring the truth the Bible teaches to the confusion the culture feels.

We covered 3 points.

#1 Sex is a god in our culture. Whatever gets the majority of your money and becomes the way you get your identity is your real God, even if you say you follow Jesus.

#2 In over-reaction, often Christians treat sex like it’s gross. Our mode of operation has been to not talk about it, avoid it, and then hope that people figure it out when they get married. Honestly, that’s a little like hoping your flat tire will fix itself if you’ll just keep driving on it long enough.

#3 The Bible’s picture of sex is that it is a gift. It’s context is marriage, and in marriage it is pure gift to be received and enjoyed (as often as possible). As with any great gift, you take care of it and use it according to its own parameters (you wouldn’t drop-kick a great gift someone gave you).

Plus, we gave a challenge.

>>If you are single and having sex, stop for the entire month of May to listen to what the Bible teaches about sexual expression.

>>If you are married, agree on an average you have sex weekly and for one week, double it. So if you aren’t currently having sex, you’d have sex 1x, etc.

Coming up this week

We’ve rated the messages loosely using the TV rating system (a system that frankly needs to be reassessed).

The video we showed this past week probably put this last week at the TV-MA rating and-- so you can compare if you have kids and are gauging what you feel is appropriate for them--is as “mature” as we’ll be getting during the series. In other words, there won’t be anything more pointed than that video. I know that was a challenge for some of you, so FYI. We probably missed the rating this last week with the video.

Sunday, we’ll looking at what makes for a great marriage—looking at what Song of Solomon calls “little foxes that destroy the vineyard of marriage.” As a bonus, every person gets a little something special on the way in.

Single? This is great to help you think through how you can support your married friends and to help you plan for your own marriage.

Plus, a video from our very own Joe Strayhorn to kick-off the message.

For those of you struggling with this series

Here’s what I know from personal experience: For a long time, this wasn’t something you talked about in polite company, much less something you talked about in church! Some of that is completely founded. We want to keep children innocent, don’t want to cause people undue embarrassment, etc. Let’s not be party to exposing kids to things they don’t need to know about yet. As the Dad of 3 small kids, I’m right there.

And if you grew up in the church, you grew up, in some senses, under a protective covering (and that’s not a bad thing). As a result, the darkness about sexuality is confusing and hurtful, maybe embarrassing to even think about. I get that.

So here’s what I’m asking you to think about. Sexuality is quite literally killing people in our culture—destroying relationships and hearts. The stats simply don’t lie. They are staggering and overwhelming. The way people talk about it, think about it, and practice it is, in a word, confused. We want to talk to people who didn’t grow up under that protective covering, which means that in order for them to hear the comfort of the gospel, those of us who grew up hearing the gospel will have to be uncomfortable. That’s why we are doing this series—to offer God’s hope to people. Thanks for thinking about that.

Some Church on American Idol

Brilliant performance on American Idol of Smokie Norful's "I Need You Now." I think Stefano does it better...

Monday Thoughts (CS Lewis commentary edition)

• I'm really enjoying the challenge of teaching through a book. Currently in Acts. It's easier for me to teach a topic, but I'm really enjoying this challenge.
• Acts. You can't understand it without the Holy Spirit. It just doesn't make any sense without the real-time, active presence of a living, loving, full of mystery and beauty and glory God. It's a breathless book, and if it happened (which I believe it did), it changes human history and what's possible for you and me.
• I can honestly say I have more respect and love for Scripture than at any point in my life. Questions of canonicity are behind me (as an intellectual barrier--I've come to terms with the questions) and I'm hearing Scripture as God's Word to me and to his people in a new and fresh way. The point of the Bible is to point us to Jesus, not to make us worship it. I am seeing Jesus in deeper ways every day.
• Many of us get a daily email from these folks. Following their Daily Text has revolutionized my reading of the Bible. John Wesley was profoundly influenced by them, so I'm good with the character reference.

CS Lewis “There is no formula in these matters. I have no recipe, no tablets. Writers are trained in so many individual ways that it is not for us to prescribe. Scripture itself is not systematic; the New Testament shows the greatest variety. God has shown us that he can use any instrument. Balaam’s ass, you remember, preached a very effective sermon in the midst of his ‘hee-haws.’

• Lots of new people. Love that! That God would trust us with the people he loves so much, wow, humbled.
• Band and vocalists have been killing it lately. So proud of the efforts they are putting in.
• We're working on how to be more intentional in talking about what it means to follow Jesus. Salvation ("being saved") is the doorway to living with Jesus as Lord. That is, when you follow Jesus, he messes up your life (no, really, that's what happens), reorders it, makes it part of his new creation.
• We're working on creating a path for people to clearly follow so they can take the next step. Jesus said we need to open eyes to see the harvest field that is ripe, so we want to tune our hearts to see what God sees, tread boldly right into the harvest field, and be ready when those people are ready to respond to Jesus' call on their hearts to follow him.

CS Lewis again: It is not enough to want to get rid of one’s sins,” he said. “We also need to believe in the One who saves us from our sins. Not only do we need to recognize that we are sinners; we need to believe in a Savior who takes away sin. Matthew Arnold once wrote, ‘Nor does the being hungry prove that we have bread.’ Because we know we are sinners, it does not follow that we are saved.”

“You can’t lay down any pattern for God. There are many different ways of bringing people into his Kingdom, even some ways that I specially dislike! I have therefore learned to be cautious in my judgment

• The article containing the CS Lewis quotes.

How to Repent

Repentance is a life skill.

In the original language of the New Testament, the word literally means, "with new mind."

If you can't change your mind, you die as a human being and become someone hard, rigid and stuck. Who wants to be around someone (for long) who can't change their mind?

Martin Luther, the protagonist of the Reformation wrote in the opening paragraphs of his 95 theses famously nailed to the door at Wittenberg, "Our Lord and Master...willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance."

And here's how George Whitfield, one of the leaders of the 18th century Spiritual Awakening in both England and America practice repentance (he usually did this each night). He once wrote, “God give me a deep humility, a well-guided zeal, a burning love and a single eye, and then let men or devils do their worst!”

Deep Humilty (vs. Pride)

Have I looked down on anyone? Have I been too stung by criticism? Have I felt snubbed and ignored?

Repent like this: Consider the free grace of Jesus until I sense (a) decreasing disdain, since I am a sinner too, and (b) decreasing pain over criticism, since I should not value human approval over God’s love. In light of his grace, I can let go of the need to keep up a good image—it is too great a burden and is now unnecessary. I reflect on free grace until I experience grateful, restful joy.

Wise courage (vs. anxiety)

Have I avoided people or tasks that I know I should face? Have I been anxious and worried? Have I failed to be circumspect, or have I been rash and impulsive?

Repent like this: Consider the free grace of Jesus until there is (a) no cowardly avoidance of hard things, since Jesus faced evil for me, and (b) no anxious or rash behavior, since Jesus’ death proves that God cares and will watch over me. It takes pride to be anxious, and I recognize I am not wise enough to know how my life should go. I reflect on free grace until I experience calm thoughtfulness and strategic boldness.

Burning love (vs indifference)

Have I spoken or thought unkindly of anyone? Am I justifying myself by caricaturing someone else in my mind? Have I been impatient and irritable? Have I been self-absorbed, indifferent, and inattentive to people?

Repent like this: Consider the free grace of Jesus until there is (a) no coldness or unkindness, as I think of the sacrificial love of Christ for me, (b) no impatience, as I think of his patience with me, and (c) no indifference, as I think of how God is infinitely attentive to me. I reflect on free grace until I show warmth and affection.

Godly motivations (a single eye)

Am I doing what I do for God’s glory and the good of others, or am I being driven by fears, need for approval, love of comfort and ease, need for control, hunger for acclaim and power, or the fear of other people (Luke 12:4–5)? Am I looking at anyone with envy? Am I giving in to even the first motions of lust

or gluttony? Am I spending my time on urgent things rather than important things because of these inordinate desires?

Repent like this: Consider how the free grace of Jesus provides me with what I am looking for in these other things. Pray, “Oh Lord Jesus, make me happy enough in you to avoid sin, and wise enough in you to avoid danger, that I may always do what is right in your sight. In your name I pray, Amen.”

HT

The New Frontier

People don't think there are frontiers anymore. There are. Being a church that serves our community is ours. We could happen in North County because of us? We'll need Pioneers to lead the way and Settlers to develop the territory. Which one will you be?

People are Awesome

Wow.

Starts Sunday

Our series in November. Excited to talk about this beginning Sunday. I'm looking forward to three things in particular:

1 - Giving people hope about their finances so they see how to keep money from keeping them from the things money can't buy.

2 - Overturning the preconceptions people have about money and the Church (There has been and still is a lot of people in the Church who misuse this--namely, prosperity preachers.

3 - Bonus: It's a chance for me to learn too. My wife does a phenomenal job managing our finances. (I married up!) And during this series, I'm looking forward to be learning more about how to better manage our finances so we can pour even more of our money in the direction of God's kingdom.

The Decade of Growth

Admittedly, this is seriously long. It's loosely a transcript of the vision I cast last weekend (audio will be up soon). I wanted it available to circulate and share.

_____________________________________________________________

I talked a few weeks ago about a 40 year vision for our community—how a community of God’s people who know who they are, know their calling and know how to work could literally change the face of our area. I don’t think that’s a pipe-dream. The Clapham Sect did just that in England 100+ years ago. It’s time for Jesus’ disciples to do the same in our day.

But something that big needs to be broken down into bite size chunks. So I talked last Sunday about our next decade together. I’m calling it the decade of growth—an unprecedented decade of growth personally, relationally and as a church. As Trinity’s pastor, I am 110% committed to your growth over the next decade. Many people, instead of growing for 10 years, live the same year over and over 10 times. I don’t want that for you. In 10 years, I want you to be out of debt, healthy, in a great relationship, and loving God and loving people more than you ever have. We’ll have to do that together. You’ll need help. So this is a talk about the next 10 years we need to experience together to get there. Here are the 6 things I think we must do if that’s to become a reality.

Trinity has a great history. Over the last 8 decades, thousands of people have been impacted and millions of dollars has been raised to meet needs. We honor that and are aware that anything we do in the future is built on the foundation of committed leaders in the past. There is an amazing, amazing track record of what God has done here. So the question is, what do we do now?

#1 Realize we are a mature church. The growth cycle is huge when you are a baby and an adolescent but slows down when you are an adult. This is completely normal. So we first have to realize where we are in the growth cycle. We are—in the language of development—an adult church. That is our current reality.

#2 BUT, we have to refuse to be comfortable. We all like comfort. That’s just part of being a human being. For instance, I don’t like it when I’m all settled down for the evening with a book or a show and then one of my kids starts crying for me. I love them, but frankly, it’s annoying. However, if I consistently ignore their needs I stunt who they become, favoring my comfort over their needs. In the same way as a church we have to refuse to be comfortable. I think God’s blessing is on the church that cares about others.

Here’s three things to keep in mind in that respect. 1) The church that doesn’t grow stagnates and dies. It’s a simple fact. No growing=dying. This requires incredibly unselfish people; People aware of other people’s needs and willing to do something about it. 2) God commands us to grow and bear fruit. Jesus told his disciples that we are to show ourselves to be his disciples, bearing much fruit. (John 15:9). 3) The needs of people—now more than ever—demand that we grow. People are desperately in need of hope, purpose, meaning & strength. We will grow as a church—grow as followers of Jesus.

#3 We have to restart a new bell curve by reaching the next generation. Again, the growth cycle is like a bell curve: A steep path of growth on the front end, a peak, followed by a decline. It happens with a piece of fruit: ripening, peak flavor, then decay, and it happens with your own body: growth, peak years, then the aches and pains of age begin to set in.

So how do you grow when things naturally decline? Two things: 1-You start a new bell curve at the peak! We’ll do that by actively and intentionally leveraging the skills, experience and wisdom of the current generation to train, lead and reach the next generation. 2-Raise the evangelistic temperature. Evangelism has gotten (probably rightly so) a bad rap as of late. In many people’s minds it raises the image of shoving God down someone’s throat. But it’s coming back into vogue in our culture—Apple even has a position called “Chief Evangelist”.

At its best, it simply means “messenger.” We want to help you recognize that you are a messenger and representative of God’s Kingdom—both with your actions and your words, in every place that you go. So we want to teach you how to use Jesus’ strategy in Luke 9 & 10 (known as the Person of Peace), finding the people near you whose hearts are ready to hear about God’s love through your kindness, genuine friendship and words.

And then we want to help you use the weekend service as a tool both to grow personally and a tool to help your friends, family and neighbors grow. We’ll do our best to make the music great, the message relevant, and be prepared to experience God’s presence together. In fact, during the month of December we’re gearing the services specifically toward people who are un-churched, de-churched, and no-churched (we always try to do that, but especially gearing it that way during December.) We’ll be talking about how Love has Come—to your hurts, to your doubts, to your relationships—and want to challenge you to invite a person of peace to the service with you and then go out to lunch with them afterwards. It’s all about the relationship!

And on Christmas Eve, let’s pack the place out—having at least 400 people present. And Christmas Eve, seriously easy sell! J We’ll have hor’s doeuvres before the service, candlelight, a great atmosphere. Make it happen!

#4 We’ll do that by focusing on developing people. We’ll do that 2 ways:

1 – By renewing and revitalizing our core. All of us need renewal. A new heart. A new spirit. A renewed sense that we are loved by God, we have a purpose God is calling us to and that it can happen. At any point, we can turn to God and he will give us freedom and a new start. If Jesus isn’t a normal part of your conversation, you don’t find yourself talking or thinking about him and doing what he said is best--—then it’s time for renewal.

We’ve talked about abiding (see John 15) several times and want to help you learn a rhythm of life that is sustainable and ties you to your basic identity as the child God dearly loves. Get that--the covenant relationship God invites you into, let it grip your heart, and you become unstoppable. The Apostle Paul said it to the Corinthians like this: though we are outwardly wasting away (on the down side of the bell curve), inwardly we can be renewed every day. (2 Corinthians 14:6). Tap into God’s Holy Spirit for renewal. We’ll help you do that. We’re working on a retreat for our entire church family and a way to help you regularly follow the rhythm of Jesus’ life: Engagement and renewal, engagement and renewal, engagement and renewal.

2 – By paying attention to how Jesus did it. For the last year+, I’ve been studying how Jesus made disciples and doing my best to exactly imitate not only what he did but how he did it. So I’ve spent time every week with 6 guys that I’ve invited to learn with me and from me how to follow Jesus. We call it a huddle.

The great invitation of the huddle was (and is) that we’d learn together and that they wouldn’t be left behind. The high challenge was that they’d do exactly the same for a few others. The next rounds of huddles have just begun. What we’re developing is an incredibly strong base of deeply Christ-like disciples who have a clear sense of who they are and what God is calling them to do. This discipling culture we’re building is the foundation of the church. To put it in computer language, discipleship is the operating system of the Kingdom of God and the Church is the killer app. (We often get it backwards—thinking the Church is God’s operating system that spawns multiple programs—discipleship being one nice thing among many.)

Making disciples first is how Jesus did it and he gave no Plan B! Make disciples who do everything I commanded you (Matthew 28:19-20). And since he’s the smartest man to ever live, I’m going to go ahead and defer to his methods. J

#5We must reposition our church for a new decade. There is a point at which a church can define what they are known for, but that soon becomes something they can no longer control. Other people decide what a church is known for. For Trinity, I think it’s fair to say that if we asked someone in the community what we are known for they’d say something like:

· Friendly (we are an incredibly friendly church—I hear that over and over again)

· The annual Live Nativity

· On Shackelford Road

That’s certainly not bad. We’re friendly, have a reputation for putting on an annual community event, and people know where our building is located. Ok, good. But to what degree do those things reflect what the Church is meant to be? Do those things naturally lead to people becoming followers of Jesus?

So what will be known for in the next decade? Let’s be known for these three things:

· Meeting Needs – if someone needs food, a job, is addicted, is grieving, is going through a divorce…whatever, let’s be known as the people who help meet those needs. In the next 2 months, we’re doing a food drive for a partner church in the city that houses a food pantry that is deluged by need. Bring food every week in November and December. And we’re having a coat drive in early November and packing gift boxes for Operation Christmas Child. That’s just the start.

· Young Families and Students – The natural cycle of life is Baby->cute kid with lunch box->Student->college or trade-> Married->kid->raise your kids->watch them go through the cycle->grandkids. Admittedly, this is not how it happens for everyone, but it is the basic reproduction cycle of the human race. Raise kids well, you raise a whole culture well. In the next decade we want to reach the next generation and do everything in our power to help them succeed. We’re targeting them to develop and renovating our space they use and the way we teach their kids and develop them as disciples and parents who know how to love and raise their kids.

· Radical Love – Let’s be known for loving God, loving each other, loving the unlovely and the unloveable, loving the despised…in a radical way. Here are 3 ways we are going to start that now:

1-We’ve adopted Coldwater Elementary School just around the corner, and are again going to be providing Christmas for three families (they have several families who are homeless!). We’ve even had someone offer a house they own to us to use as a way to bless a family that just needs a leg up for a few months to help turn things around financially. So in a few months, we’ll have a home we can offer to those families—rent free—where they can begin to turn things around financially (and for their entire future!). Wow. Only God could do that.

2 – In January, we’re going to be “Regifting Love” by challenging you to serve 3000 hours in our community. That works out to each person (that would be YOU) serving about 2 hours/week in January. We’ve contacted 10 agencies in the area and will have a catalog listing tangible ways you can serve. Make plans now to clear your schedule in January for 2 hours a week.

3-We’re hosting a free community health fair January 29. It will be run by health professionals and offer everything from nutrition and exercise help to diabetes screening (you can serve some of your hours there, by the way).

Radical love. Let’s be known for that.

#6 Renovate our space. I mean two things by that. One, we’re going through the building and updating the spaces—starting with our kids area (it’s had several different looks over the years—again, this is about reaching a new generation!)—so they look clean, modern and welcoming. When the community uses our building, when the guests come that you are going to invite, we want them to realize that we were already thinking about them and the experience they’d have while in our building. We want to communicate that we care about them by having facilities that say “we care.”

Two, and more importantly, we want to renovate our space by extending our space. I don’t mean building a large sanctuary or bigger gym for $5-10 million (do you know how many people we could feed, how many people we could retrain for a new job, how many churches we could plant with that kind of money??), but sending you out as God calls you to have little communities of mission that meet in homes, coffee shops and other spaces. You and the mission that comes from God’s heart for you to fulfill are the truly “renovated space.” We’ve talked about these before. They are called missional communities. You won’t be thrown to the wolves. In fact, to lead a missional community, you have to go through a huddle first. So you won’t be on your own. You’ll be trained, helped, supported and equipped.

That’s what’s on my heart. I am praying it will now be on your heart. Peace.

The audio of the message will be up soon. And we’re excited to launch our new website, www.stltrinitychurch.net, in a few weeks that will include a sermon player where you can listen to the messages.

Stephen Colbert on immigration

Stephen Colbert using his satirical gift before Congress. Well done Stephen, well done.

Evangelism - a four letter word?

I've grown up--for better or worse--in what is commonly called the "Evangelical World."

Evangelicals are thusly named because we are evangelistic--that is, we want to tell people about Jesus and see people follow Jesus.

Enter irony.

For a number of valid reasons, evangelism has now become a dirty word to those of us in the younger evangelical set. Our skin crawls when we hear it and fear and anxiety grips our hearts. So with a tip of the hat to Stuff Christians Like, here's why that happens for me, maybe you can identify.

1-It's been about guilt. The way I heard it preached sounded an awful lot like religious cold-calling on an unsuspecting, uninterested soul who was just trying to get a new DVD player at Best Buy. "Sir, I can see you are looking for a new DVD player...can I tell you about the DVD player that never dies?" And to motivate us, our willingness to walk up to complete strangers was used as the measure of the fervency of our devotion to Jesus. I'd put the tenor of the pitch at roughly the same level as those guilt email forwards that tell you that you really love/aren't ashamed of Jesus only if you forward this immediately to 10 friends. And to underscore that this was possible (and to underscore how I was failing) there was always that one special speaker who'd led about 3,000 people to Lord in DVD section of Best Buy in the last year.

2-It's sounded an awful lot like sacred one night stands. Since the ultimate goal was souls in a disembodied heaven, all that mattered was that you got people to pray "the prayer." And if you got a lot of people to pray the prayer, then you were a successful Christian. Who cares if you knew or loved the person (or even liked them), if they prayed the prayer, then you and Jesus and the person's eternal destiny (hey, no pressure) were good . You love 'em, leave 'em and move on. There was even a thing that could serve as a prophylaxis against actual interaction with heathen: A tract. It earned us a reputation of ironically not actually caring about the people we were supposed to love.

3-It wasn't natural. Honestly, the messages were mixed. "Friendship with the world is enmity against God." "Separate yourself from among them." "Now go love them in Jesus' name." Holy whiplash Batman! I vividly remember walking down my High School hallway carrying my Bible completely torn up about the eternal destinies of my classmates, but not wanting to contaminate myself by actually being friends with them.

4-It's been about what to avoid. The pitch was most often centered around avoiding hell, not loving Jesus. Jesus, in contrast, talked most about what it meant to follow him and embrace God's kingdom, reserving his talk about hell mainly for the religious people who felt so smugly in the right.

To add irony to irony, the word evangelist is now hot. Apple even recently had a Chief Mac Evangelist. The business world routinely talks about being an evangelist for this or that product or service. What they mean is actually the original intent of the word: you love and believe in something so much that you can't help but share it.

We need to rescue the word and the practice. We're sent by God (the root meaning of the word evangelistic) and so need to reclaim our mission of announcing God's kingdom. Here are three ways I'm working toward doing that.

The person of peace. Jesus--and can anyone actually argue he isn't the greatest evangelist of all time?--has a strategy we've basically ignored. In Luke 9 & 10 he sends out the 12 and the 72 with the instruction that when they go somewhere, they are to look for the man (or woman) of peace. "You enter a house and announce peace to it," Jesus says. "If a person of peace is there, your peace will rest on them. Stay, build relationships, announce God's reign over all things. If not, move on."

Here's what Jesus was saying. "As you go about your life and find someone you like and who likes you, start there. Build a relationship with them, and in the context of that relationship, tell them about God's love and care for them. If you don't find someone who likes you, move on." Heaven came down and glory filled my soul when I realized how simple and natural Jesus was making it. Focused intention, zero pressure. I am now always on the look-out for a person of peace.

Increase my powers of observation. In John 4, Jesus meets the woman from Samaria at a well. He observes several things (1) She's alone. Women didn't go places like that alone in that culture. (2) It's the middle of the day in the heat. Women went together in the morning when it was cool. (3) Based on 1 & 2, he notices that she is an outcast of some sort. When his disciples come back from the store and he unpacks with them the secret of having profound spiritual conversations, he says "open your eyes and look at the fields!" In other words, notice the things going on around you. It's there that an encouraging word, a smile, a kind conversation can open the door of someone's heart.

Serve people while being normal. When I serve people, I change their perception, change my perception and break down barriers. And I serve because I love, not because I hope we'll talk about Jesus (though I do hope that happens). A great interview on ABC News about the new face of American Evangelicalism underscores this.

So what about you? What comes to mind when you think of evangelism? How do we reclaim it without all the baggage?

Monday Thoughts

• Started a new series yesterday: Hope For Your Work. The framework is from the brilliant insights of Tim Keller. Everyone gets their stuff from somewhere. I get some of my stuff from him. Simply brilliant pastor.
• I'm glad I love what I do, but have had plenty of work that I didn't.
• All good work that helps people flourish (some work frankly doesn't) is a form of gardening (see Genesis 1-2).
• If you don't understand how your work fits into your faith, you are left with a gaping hole in your practice of following Jesus.
• Been wrestling a lot with the Celebrity culture we live in--specifically the church celebrity culture (it exists). This quote from Tim Keller helped me see the task ahead of me. Our celebrity culture comes because we think their tremendous success comes from a certain skill set the person has (that we then covet or try to copy):

  The difference between a solid church and a terrible church is pretty much up to you. The difference between a solid church and incredible success has almost nothing to do with you...It’s like you are out there paddling on your surfboard, and suddenly the wave comes and you ride in, standing up like you’re a Greek god. That has everything to do with the wave.

• Joseph went through three stages of character development. 1-Wow, look at my talent and how great I am! 2 - Wow, look at the talent God gave me. Now let me show you how great I am. 3-My insights are meaningless. Only God can do what needs to be done. If I'm honest, I think I'm somewhere between stage 2 & 3.
• I loved having a date with my wife on Friday night. A great student gave us the gift of a night of baby-sitting/month so we could go out. We took an inventory...and it's been way too long since we've been on a date. Regular dates now go into my life plan. I don't want to use my wife or my family to lead a church.
• From Saturday's Marriage/Parenting Seminar: A great marriage is built on three things. 1-Knowing your partner's inner world intimately. 2-Building a culture of fondness and admiration (over against a culture of "constructive criticism" and contempt). 3-Being aware of your partner's "bids" for attention and affection and doing everything you can to turn toward them.
• Lots of administrative stuff needing attention right now. I am not an administrator and find myself frequently drained by the demands. I'm having to really monitor my time and energy levels. I really want to serve the people I lead well and this means getting us past this necessary strengthening of our processes and systems regardless of how it makes me feel.

Inequitites, Part 2

These are reflections on my previous post about some inequities I experienced the other night from about 3 feet away on the Metro coming home from Busch Stadium. It raised some serious questions for me:

What does it mean that there are massive inequities in the world?

Am I supposed to feel "white guilt" for my station in life?

Am I supposed to feel sorry for my African-American brother and his station in life?

What can I even do to address inequities on this scale?

Where I am born and to whom I am born is beyond my control. A large part of what I experienced the other night was due to factors of our birth. We like to think that we are largely self-made people, but that's really a myth of the modern world. While we are certainly responsible for making something of our lives, and this is without a doubt the 'land of opportunity', the material we start with and where we start with it determines more of who we are than we care to admit.

Things don't make a person happy. A cultural myth that is heavily marketed to us is that money+stuff=happiness. Love, relationships, family, warmth: These are all ingredients money can't buy. If you've ever been to a third-world country, you've likely walked away thinking: how can they be so happy?

The American Dream is really a new form of aristocracy. The things we've come to expect out of life are things that for the majority of human history were only available to royalty. It's great that a higher standard of living is available (who wants people to intentionally suffer?), however a short reflection on history will hopefully fill us with gratitude.

Feeling sorry for someone is a waste of energy. Feeling sorry for someone often has the effect of making us feel superior. "Oh, those poor people!", which really can mean "I'm so much better than them. I'm glad I'm not like them." And when we feel superior, we can no longer move to help as a fellow human being. Our help comes tainted with self-righteousness.

Admit the disparity. It doesn't do any good to refuse to acknowledge the inequities. Look them square in the face and say that they are there. Then do something. The inequities would have been even greater if I'd talked about the families I've met in third world countries. Hand-wringing over their existence does nothing. Act.

True living means giving. In God's economy of things, giving is actually a better way of living than receiving. Jesus says it's actually the best way to go about life. The consumerism of our society wants to reverse God's economy and tells us that it is better to receive than to give. In contrast, if we follow Jesus and have, we give. We work for justice. We pay attention to inequities. We live simply so that we can give.

What are your thoughts on the inequities you see in life?

Monday Thoughts (on Tuesday)

• Since our August month of abiding, I've been out of my rhythm in terms of weekly speaking. I see how a rhythm helps with communication. I felt "off" on Sunday. It happens. I really love speaking and love the challenge of getting better.
• Really challenged the way we see Church yesterday. In the west, the way we see Church is typically like a fortress. We want everyone to come into the fortress, we might send out raiding parties to get new people into the fortress, but we've basically failed to see that living thusly leaves massive territory completely in our enemy's hands. I think Mike Breen is right. Satan has made a pact with the Western Church. He'll let the church get as large as it wants in the fortress model as long as we take no new territory.
• Conservative stats say 60% of America does not attend fortress, I mean church, on Sunday.
• Theological proviso here: This does not mean God is not present or working in that 60%. It means we are not present or working in that 60%. And for some reason, God chooses to do the majority of his work of setting people free through people.
• I'm an ENTP on the Myers-Briggs inventory, which means I have to fight, fight, fight to do things the same way again and again. (I'd drive home a different way every day if I could) This is important because systems that allow leadership to expand and grow require doing the same thing over and over again. The apostle Paul said it: I die daily.
• To lead means to be heavily involved in your own sanctification, which means painfully facing your shortcomings everyday.
• My job description: growing leaders who are like Jesus.
• Leaders are measured by the number of leaders they produce, not the number of followers they have.
• My Huskers are back. Go Big Red!
• Been wrestling with the implications of a word given to me at the Senior Pastor's retreat a couple weeks ago: "Your first sermon is your marriage. Your second sermon is your family. Your third sermon is what you say on Sunday." Painfully, I don't think I've had the order right. I'm thinking differently so I can live differently.

Inequities

Someone gave us four free tickets to last Friday night's Cardinals Game, 13 rows up from the 3rd base dugout valued at $400. An incredible job perk. I did a funeral and the funeral director passed on tickets to me.

He and his wife worked the Cardinals game in concessions, by the grease pit where they could only hear the cheers when the Cardinals routed the Padres 14-4. A job perk, I guess.

*We took our two boys for a fun night out which meant they'd stay up much later than little kids should. It was a special treat that we paid for with grumpiness for two days, but totally worth the experience.

*His two kids were watched, like they are most nights, by someone while their mom and dad worked, staying up much later than little kids should, like they probably do most nights.

*We were all wearing happy, fun Cardinals gear--St Louis Camouflage, as it's called--to get in the spirit of the game.

*They were wearing concessionare, grease-saturated uniforms.

*We rode the Metro down to the stadium because it would be fun for our boys. They loved it.

*They rode the Metro down to the stadium because its there only means of transit, standing for the most part because the train was packed with exhausted fans who were filling all the seats.

*We bought the boys a memento bat each, a hot dog, cotton candy and a root beer. About $40 worth of fun.

*They earned a little more than that for their night's work.

*While on the Metro I stood gingerly in the packed crowd on my right foot I'd recently pierced with a large nail. It still hurt, but my insurance is good and I was able to get the care I needed easily with relatively little cost to me.

*While on the Metro, he had a band-aid on a sore that topped a grotesquely mis-formed set of veins on his left arm. I don't know this for sure, but given his circumstances, I'm going to guess the band-aid was his form of "care." It was what he could get at relatively little cost to him.

*My wife was worn out and beaten down from a week of running after three little ones (a huge job, to be sure).

*His wife was worn out from the constant drain of looking after two little ones, while holding down a fast-food job. I heard her mutter about the strength she needed to carry on in what seemed like an unending future.

I could go on. Tomorrow, I'll reflect on what this all means and specifically what this all means for me as a follower of Jesus.

Monday Thoughts

Working as a Pastor, I have a gig I do every Sunday. Kind of goes with the deal. And it will help me to reflect on what's transpired in the last week, so here goes.

• Kyle Rainbolt brought it yesterday, helping us understand the learning circle Jesus outlines in Mark 1:15. Kyle has an uncanny knack for making the complex simple and is a natural communicator. I'm honored to be serving with him.
• Get the learning circle and you have a life-long tool for processing everything life throws at you and consistently seeing breakthrough in your life.
• Loved being in Myrtle Beach, SC last week at this hotel with these people for their Senior Pastor's retreat. Come on Lord! Still feel a bit weird being called a Senior Pastor.
• Especially thankful for the owner who made it available for pastors for $50/night. Hands down the best Hampton Inn I've ever stayed in.
• Felt like massive breakthrough for me personally this morning in our staff meeting talking about the prophetic and praying for healing. I'm promiscuously and indiscriminately going to be praying for people to be healed in the next 6 months (and beyond). Feeling more comfortable with the prophetic personally as I'm beginning to understand how God speaks to me.
• Theological clarification of the above statement for you aren't from the charismatic stream of Christianity (like I'm not), the ministry of Jesus involved healing the sick as a sign of the coming Kingdom, and the regular giving of encouraging insight about what God wants to do in a person's life. Hearing the voice of God is the birthright of every Christian (and a thing very often maligned and misunderstood). But, read the New Testament and it's very quickly evident that Jesus' disciples did what Jesus did. Ergo, if we are his disciples...
• Without truly spiritual lives, church leaders are religious programming directors. I'd like the life of Jesus to consume mine please. I feel something bubbling in our church and community in this regard.
• My goal: to get as regular and good at blogging as Ben Arment. Always love and am challenged by his blog.
• Our church structure has undergone a massive overhaul in the last 18 months. Looking forward to seeing the fruit of that this year. We've intentionally built it to support thousands. This is forcing me to make massive internal changes in how I think and operate as a leader.
• Leaders go first.
• Even more than that, looking forward to seeing the beginning fruit of our efforts at building a discipling culture. Single most significant thing I've ever undertaken in ministry.